I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Randomize
