Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
zippers are such a cool invention
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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