i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
