Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
