We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
