Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
