was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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