somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Randomize
