White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
