I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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