Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
