You smell like a Billy Joel song
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
