come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
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