SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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