I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize