Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
