Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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