Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
