i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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