just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Your penis caused this!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
