I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
