She said her name was "party"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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