fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
