Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
