If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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