just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
