you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
