my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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