What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
