a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize