i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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