those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize