Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize