He is such a slut. More and more my type.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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