hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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