We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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