We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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