Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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