porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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