getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
