i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
