you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize