Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
