I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
