dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
