Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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