I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
