just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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