Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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