Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i think i have two assholes
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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