isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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