but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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