Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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