im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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