You're completely useless in the revolution.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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