Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
