What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
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I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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