Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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