When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
