Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Randomize
